How you can identify abuse and help older adults at risk
June 16, 2023
Global Korean Post
Warning signs
If you suspect abusive behaviour, look for:
- Controlling behaviour:
- Not allowing older adults the right to freely make decisions and choices
- Refusing to allow them to visit with anyone alone
- Isolating them from friends and family
- Using the “silent treatment” to control them
- Not allowing them to use the phone
- Disregard for their privacy
- Locks on the outside of the bedroom door
- Reading or withholding their mail
- Handling all of the money
- Blaming the older adult for the abuse: “It’s your fault that I pushed you!”
- A strong sense of entitlement: “I can do what I want! You owe me!”
- Treating the older adult like a child: “Do what I tell you!”
- Frequent arguments, name calling or threats
- Leaving a dependent person alone for long periods of time.
But how do you know if it is abuse?
It may be difficult to determine that abuse is taking place. Every situation is different. A warning sign does not automatically mean abuse is happening. Ask questions, seek advice from experts on abuse, avoid judgment and be respectful. Trust your instincts.
What You Can Do
Neighbours, friends and family members can learn to do three things:
- See it!“It’s not right!” Recognize the warning signs of abuse.
- Name it!“That looks/sounds like abuse.” Talk to the older adult.
- Check it!“Is it abuse? What can I do to help?” Ask questions, check with experts about what to do next, check for danger—help with safety planning.
- See it! Take your concerns seriously, learn the warning signs.
“I am worried about my friend who hasn’t been to the Centre for weeks. The last time I saw her, she seemed very anxious.”
- Name it! Overcome your hesitation to help. Talk to the older adult you think may be abused (without the person you think is abusive present) about what you have seen or heard. Use non-judgmental language.
“I haven’t seen you at the Centre for some time now, and I know how important it is to you. You seem upset. I miss seeing you.”
- Check it! Ask questions.
“Are you ok? Do you feel safe? Is there anyone hurting you or making you feel uncomfortable? What do you want to do? How can I help?”
If you have immediate concerns about safety, call the police.
